Zurka:

i'm in the library to look for the first issue to get out of my contract

The Drufle:

With the local inquisitors on his ass, he needs a way out of the city

The Drufle:

Local rogue and general alley-stalker Eric is kind of bored of this city

The Drufle:

Despite not knowing each other (except maybe by slight rumor) they have run into each other at the entrance to the local pub, the Drunken Drake

The Drufle:

At the Drunken Drake is one of the members of the famous pirate crew

Ben:

he steps nervously from side to side while trying to figure out how being cool works

Eric:

I was merely wondering if you'd like one of this fine line of Rolex watches for the low, low cost of 1 gp.

Pory:

You could actually roll to see how convincing Eric's lie is and how easily Narseus sees through lies.

Pory:

Sense Motive is based on Wisdom, so if you don't have any ranks in it you'd just roll d20 + WISmod.

Pory:

If you want to get fancy, then (using square brackets instead of parentheses) you could type (t:d20+5)

Ben:

"Oh!" Ben seems shocked and afraid. You hear the noise of running water."

Ben:

"This uh, establishment is uh, for quite bad fellows such as myself, is it not?"

Chanlin:

Hey, you look like someone who knows about something interesting happening.

Eric:

"I was definitely just looking in this window, which is a thing that normal people do"

Eric:

"Say, could you use a watch? I have many fine selections, gently used."

Chanlin:

"Nah, there's this big clock in town that chimes the hour. I'm good."

The Drufle:

"Please, stay for a while. It's not often we get a Sparthian in the area."

Kevin the Bartender:

Or do I have to throw you and the furry one out of my bar?

Eric:

(whispered) "Friend, you and me, we're kindred spirits, if you know what I mean. What say we go "check out" that Sparthian while we have the chance?"

Chanlin:

"Hmm...if there's only one of her crew in here, I guess the action's probably there, yeah."

Eric:

"Let's head over there before the crew returns. They must be on shore leave."

The Drufle:

As Eric and his newfound friends become bored of the pub, they make for the nearby docks

Asema:

I love this guy already, but unfortunately I have also sort of lost track of whatever the situation with Ellington is.

Ellington:

Ellington keeps to a whisper as well, annoyed though it sounds (as always). "Seems so. That's my best chance for tracking down that book, wherever it went.'

Ellington:

"Unfortunately, it looks like they're fooling around with... ugh... him." Ellington has probably met Kevin at some point; even once is enough for less-than-fond memories. "Fuck that guy." The whisper becomes closer to a mutter, and not one Ellington probably cares about anyone hearing.

Eric:

"Book, you say? Can't say I've seen a book... but I do have a very nice set of pocket watches."

Ben:

"Mr. Rainbeard, no being an economist is dreadful! That's why I stopped and became a full time... full time cool dude."

The Drufle:

Eric, Ellington, and Chanlin have arrived at the famed Port Glacier docks.

Ben:

"I can make you potions that enlarge your... your organs, if that's what you want."

Eric:

"I certainly don't see any pirates about. Well, besides that douchey one in the bar."

Chanlin:

"Maybe he was shipwrecked somewhere else on the island and walked here?"

Eric:

"I think he would have mentioned that, but... he didn't look nearly depressed enough."

Ellington:

I think a Diplomacy check would be what it's called, but it's basically a Charisma check for Ben unless you took Diplomacy.

Kevin the Bartender:

"That box there holds some of the finest alcohol on the continent, my boy."

Kevin the Bartender:

"Oh, he saved my life a while back when I used to work on one of the Sparthian's partner ships."

Chanlin:

I'm going to gather info the official way, with a special diplomacy check.

Narseus reaches the port, expecting to find the Sparthian. It is not there.

Note: Dang is the most vicious of pirate swears. It should not be said in front of your mother. Especially if she is a master swordswoman and sharpshooter.

The Drufle:

A nearby fisherman says that a boat had left earlier, but he didn't know what it was.

The Drufle:

Narseus, in his mass confusion, completely misses the elf hiding behind him.

Eric:

the trick will be making sure he doesn't just walk into them and if he does

Ben:

i also have knowledge nature i can use on the water and surrounding environment to tell if something ship related happened

* Eric trips and nearly falls on his face but still maintains his balance like a suave motherfucker.

The Drufle:

Narseus notices that the note is written in Giant, used as a sort of code between the Rainbeards

The Drufle:

The note reads "Narseus, the time for you to become a true pirate has come. We will return to the port one year from now, and if you are still alive by then, you will be ready to take over the crew."

Eric:

"Looks like that boat's not returning for a year. They ditched the kid."

Eric:

"Any of you guys got a backup plan for getting off this godforsaken rock?"

The Drufle:

Eric just notices the small rat hiding behind a pole ten feet away from him

Eric:

"Get back over here. Aren't you that rat that blew up a house or something?"

Eric:

"I think I saw you on a wanted poster, earlier. Pretty impressive stuff."

The Drufle:

Suddenly developing full blindness, Narseus loses his balance and falls into the ocean.

The Drufle:

im not kidding he actually has a better swim check than most fish

The Drufle:

Narseus, recovering from his odd blindness, crawls back out of the ocean.

The Drufle:

Ben, while disappointed that he couldn't save Narseus, sees a large multi-sailed boat off in the distance

Ben:

"I must say they're acting quite irrationally! I did not expect such behaviour from, from pirates!"

Ben:

"Well, I... given that you no longer are on the ship, I would say you gained your wish?"

ZeldaFan:

I take advantage of this to stride confidently over towards the despairing pirate.

ZeldaFan:

"Sir, I could not help but notice your conundrum here, and our problems are not dissimilar."

The Drufle:

Narseus, looking at the ship in the distance, notices that that ship is a caravel.

ZeldaFan:

"That was definitely another person who wasn't me. You racist bastard."

ZeldaFan:

this owrks because hesheit hovers in the background without talking mostly

ZeldaFan:

"Now, if I've understood the situation correctly, you need to find another ship out of here, correct?"

Chanlin:

Yes, you can. Your Perception check would have to beat his Disguise check.

ZeldaFan:

"I have a few compatriots who would also be willing to join us, I believe."

Asema:

I left around when Narseus was complaining about the cold or so much, when we were about to hijack -- I mean, board the ship.

ZeldaFan:

"While this region is rather... wild, we might be able to make a journey south as a group."

The Drufle:

and they found a note written in Giant (the ship's secret code language) that says the ship is leaving narseus for a year to test his mettle

ZeldaFan:

we estimate that ship's course, then try to catch up to whatever port it's headed to?

Ben:

it will accidentally take a year and along the way narseus will become the ultimat epirate

Chanlin:

If you don't have ranks in a Knowledge skill, you can't succeed on checks with a DC higher than 10.

Ellington:

The situation isn't nearly convenient enough for Ellington to be happy with it (not that she ever was), so it's for the better if Ben has a plan anyway.

The Drufle:

Ben, having been in the area a while, knows of a port just a mile to the east

Ellington:

I imagine it has to be a pretty big island too, so a mile isn't much of a stretch.

Ben:

"Well, using my very cool brainmind, I have determined that in fact, there is a port just a mile to the northeast, up the coast!"

Ellington:

"Good for you. Are we going?" It appears Ellington has assumed this has turned into something like a real group.

ZeldaFan:

I'm trying to be honest here and it's very difficult because he doens't do that a lot.

The Drufle:

If you'd like to head up the coast to the nearby port town, I can show the way

ZeldaFan:

i'm trying to convince streak that we just want to find a fucking boat

The Drufle:

Alternatively, there are lots of shops in Port Glacier if you need to stock up

ZeldaFan:

"While the road may be dangerous, it's just a mile, can't be all that bad, right?"

ZeldaFan:

"Well, ah... Sir, without knowing the direction or objective of your family's ship, how will we ever catch up to them?"

The Drufle:

youre going to the other port to find a ship to follow that caravel

ZeldaFan:

"They might land in another port first-- it's a long shot, but the only one we have."

The Drufle:

Chanlin realizes that the caravel that had sailed off is the one that was owned by a group of bandits

The Drufle:

The ones that robbed a magical item delivery that was headed to the Grand Library

Eric:

now the only other ship in the area, this bandit ship, is taking off with ellington's shit.

Asema:

"Alright. So there's a bandit ship on the loose. It has *my* 'treasure', Narseus, and it has treasure you want. Let's stop wasting time."

Eric:

"How about we head to that port, find a ship we can- uh, borrow, and then head after those bandits!"

Eric:

"Perhaps with a ship that size in our possession, we can take a lead on your family's ship?"

Eric:

eric is operating under the belief that the rainbeards are insanely wealthy

Narseus:

"Honestly, if they don't want me catching up, then we probably have no chance."

Pory:

If nearly all of us get kicked each time, it's probably not our connections. It's the host server's connection.

Pory:

Yeahm, this is the server finally realizing our previous connections don't exist anymore.

The Drufle:

Ben believes that these small arthropods are, indeed, the rare ocean spider!

The Drufle:

Highly vicious and quite aggressive, these creatures aren't a big fan of

Chanlin:

The DM can set whether the actual values are displayed, and whether the PCs can see the NPCs' places in the initiative order.

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

mysteriously, chalin is a circle and has no facing

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

i have played pathfinder before i just forget how

Chanlin:

"I fought a giant crab that had a weak point once. It took massive damage pretty easily..." Chanlin draws his rapier and talks up a storm about the time he fought a crab.

Chanlin:

Weirdly enough, his story actually manages to bolster the party's confidence.

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

Ben looks like rimmer when people are talking about cool things they did once in front of rimmer.

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

"Yes, well, I fmdgmkkm" Ben murmurs to himself bitchily.

Chanlin:

Chanlin has used Inspire Courage. We all get +1 to our attack rolls and weapon damage rolls while it's active.

Zurka:

can i make another knowledge check if crabs aren't too dumb to mind-affect

Chanlin:

If I recall, at my level starting Inspire Courage is a standard action. So I guess I'll move and be done.

Narseus:

Narseus swipes at the Giant Enemy Crab! with his cutlass, getting a 1 to hit. If this hits, he deals 5 damage.

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Chanlin:

You have a -1 attack modifier? You're sure that's accurate, 'cuz that's kinda garbage. Even for level 1.

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

can i apply venom to my kukri and attack in the same turn

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

did it get reactions that implied people thought ben was

Zurka:

"dear cassandra, your child got eaten by crabs a few feet from the town"

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

i wish we could do battle stuff as cool as they do on darths and droigs

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

i haven't read any of the one where it's lord of the rings though

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

well that's because the map hasn't laoded so i can't impersonate ben

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Chanlin:

You get both the d8 from the crossbow and the d6 from the sneak attack.

Chanlin:

You can't move, but you can take move actions if they don't involve actual movement across the battlefield.

The Drufle:

Running up behind Grabbycrab, Ellington swings his/her hammer down and crushes the crab outright

Zurka:

maybe if i took that talking to animals thing we might find out that they're just drunk

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

ZeldaFan:

i like how you have to copypaste that constantly because drufle never remembers

Ben:

yeah because it's not just regular sleep he should pretty much be comatose

Chanlin:

Larry's effectively dead already, guys. A minor monster with negative HP is dead.

Narseus:

Narseus shoots at PerDICK with his pistol. Bang!! Rolled 19 to hit, to deal 3 damage.

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Narseus:

so is giving our enemies lovable personality traits going to become a running theme

Chanlin:

You just walked away from an active enemy. In so doing you turned your back on him.

Chanlin:

You can move away without drawing attacks, but only one square per round.

Chanlin:

You can always see whose turn it is by opening the Initiative Window and seeing who the green check is next to.

Ben:

no i mean when i asked if i could do it just before you said yes but anyway i pissed myself instead

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

ZeldaFan:

it's like sticking a knife in the little chink and prynig the meat out

Narseus:

i dunno ellington obliterating one with a hammer and saying nothing was cool enough

Asema:

First: was he using the lucerne hammer or swordcane last round? Generally if it's a trip she probably took the lucerne hammer; the swordcane's mainly for city outings.

Asema:

Ellington hefts the hammer and infuses it with a small amount of arcane power. I'll expend one point from my Arcane Pool to make the lucerne hammer +1 for this turn (+1 to hit and damage).

Asema:

True, but Perbert has Zurka in a grapple now, and is looking healthier to boot.

Chanlin:

I'd imagine that stacks with my bonus. It certainly didn't sound like a morale bonus you were granting youself there.

Asema:

It's just like using a magic weapon, which means it's also useless if you actually have a magic weapon, but the arcane pool is good for other stuff too.

Ellington:

All right, in future: you can actually coup de grace enemies that are unconscious.

Ellington:

This is pretty brutal, whatever it does, since I think it's an automatic hit + crit as a full round action.

Chanlin:

Yeah, and then the enemy has to make a Fort save to avoid dying outright.

ReverseGenocideCockatrices:

initial effect staggered for 1d4 rounds; secondary effect unconsciousness for 1 minute

Asema:

Also, he has an improved poison feat, if I recall, so it's better than the usual Vishkanya poison.

Chanlin:

Chanlin thrusts at Larry with his rapier, getting a 9 to hit. If this hits, he deals 1 damage.

Asema:

Sleep Venom is a racial feature for Vishkanya. But you took a feat that makes your venom better.

Ben:

oh i know it makes it a swift action but it's a different kind of poison because it doesn't do poison damage

Pory:

Yeah, that was a move and a standard. And I have nothing exciting to do with a swift.

Narseus:

Narseus swipes at perdick with his cutlass, getting a 1 to hit. If this hits, he deals 1 damage.

The Drufle:

im sorry guys i didnt think fucking CRABS would be so hard to kill

Pory:

Yes. See how the numbers have grey backgrounds? Hover over them to see dice info.

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Ben:

streak you are free to go to bed and just explain away narseus as having fallen unconscious

* Eric seizes his opportunity and strikes a fierce blow at the opponent, with 9 to hit and 2 damage.

Narseus:

Narseus swipes at carb with his cutlass, getting a 1 to hit. If this hits, he deals 6 damage.

The Drufle:

im just putting him there for now to make it look like hes running away

Chanlin:

(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)

Encounter summary:

Ben puts the crab leader to sleep for the entire encounter. Narseus gets grappled by two crabs, rolls a bunch of ones, and almost dies immediately. Chanlin tells everyone an inspiring story. Eric sneak attacks everything. Zurka stares at the crabs rudely. Ellington smashes all the crabs with a giant magic hammer. One unconcious crab remains, the leader crab, Larry.

Asema 2:

As the unfortunate crab makes its escape, Ellington gladly helps it along by sending it flying.

Asema 2:

Or since it's not waking up for a while, we could just say it's anyone's kill.

Asema 2:

Since it's pretty much inevitable we'll surround and coup de grace it.

Chanlin:

"...and the Duchess could never look at corn meal quite the same way again." Chanlin winds down his story as he joins in the Larry-stabbing.

Chanlin:

"Wow, way to go Ben! We'll have you speaking like a somewhat cool guy yet!"